The Byrd Cage

Byrd Droppings with Mort and Hugs, Volume 3: OVC Champions Edition

In Game Posts on March 13, 2013 at 10:44 am


Editor’s Note: We like to laugh here at the Byrd Cage and we hope you do too. That’s why we’re happy to announce the return of Mort & Hugs. Our two in-house professional gripers/comedians who’ve never met a D1 athlete they weren’t scurd to anonymously mock on the internet.

Authors’ note: Our editors said we had to be nice to Coach Prohm and the Murray State crew since enough salt has been rubbed in the wounds (and in all seriousness, we do respect the rivalry and excited for future episodes of Belmont vs. Terrible Horse Rap Nation).  Thus we will refrain from gloating in the acerbic and borderline juvenile manner which is our custom.  However, with the Big Dance right around the corner, you can bet that Mort and Hugs will be back in full swing next week making bold predictions that we can’t back up and taking personal pot shots against people we know little to nothing about with absolutely no fear of reprisal. Until then, enjoy this bite-sized morsel of Mort and Hugs as we gear up for the real thing post-Selection Sunday.  Hopefully it won’t be the last you hear from us this season.

WHAT A WEEK IT’S BEEN.  And boy oh boy, what a game.  I was riveted… to my phone.  Yes, I – like most of the Belmont student body and alumni – was not at the game.  Also like hordes of Belmont fans, I had a good excuse.  SPRING BREAK.  In Ohio.

Ok, perhaps it wasn’t really spring break for me, but I was out of town, and I think it is grossly unfair and smacks of poor-losership to decry Belmont (see comment from gm0168) as undeserving just because we can’t get people to #WatchTheDamnGame.

I think our university’s Christian identity can help with this one though. It’s like that thing in my Grandma’s bathroom says: When I looked back and saw only one person sitting in the seats, it’s because Christ was watching the game for me. Our glaring lack of attendance aside, I think it’s safe to say that Bruin nation was at the game in their hearts, even as their bodies were probably on far-flung beaches guzzling PBR.

Looking back, I can see the divine providence…Christian school’s prayers answered by ball deflecting off of the foot of a guy named Isaiah. The greatest miracle on Saturday, however, was the realization that there will be at least ONE event a year sanctioned by Belmont that serves alcohol.

Amen.  And speaking of things we’re really looking forward to, Selection Sunday is just around the riverbend, Pocahontas. The excitement is palpable, so palpable that you can capture it using the video function on both your iPhone and iPad:

ipad guy

Seriously,  who needs two sets of amateur film coverage of a television broadcast from THE EXACT SAME vantage point?  Apparently that guy.  Maybe he was taking video for his friends without DVR?  Maybe everyone he’s close to is inherently skeptical of all media and would therefore ONLY believe that there was a well-attended selection party at Belmont if this journalistic hero proved it himself.  Twice.  Or maybe he’s actually a 60-year-old dad who just found out about this “wireless technology” and is really eager to learn to use his new gadgets with complete disregard for the people standing behind him who’d like to be able to see with their own eyes and not have the terrible distraction of a crappy video of a professional video broadcast in the middle of their field of vision.  Just guessing.

Friends, sports entertain, inspire, and also sometimes teach us.  And the one thing we can all learn from this is: don’t be that guy.


Drew Hanlen ‏@DrewHanlen
On Aug 30, I stated that @BelmontMBB would go 24-6 then win the OVC Tournament! Well, they went 24-6 & are dancing!

Drew is why God is on our side.

Hoopin’ Hanlen has a heart of gold, he’s more motivational than the movie “Rudy,” and he is also a prophet.  He makes Tim Tebow look like a drug lord with an army of child soldiers.

If you had never heard of Tim Tebow and only read our blog you would think he did heroin and protested women’s rights.

Ian Clark ‏@iclark21
Kinda like the Cool Ranch tacos.

Champions eat Cool Ranch tacos.

It’s really too bad that perhaps the best player the ‘Mont has ever seen will die of stomach cancer at age 28.

Kerron Johnson ‏@kjbbruin03
Man it’s so cool to think we were right there where they are choosing the next Pope so cool

That is very cool. Glad our team realized how neat of an opportunity that is. If Belmont took me to Italy, I would want to meet the Sbarros, the Fazolis, and the Olive Garden families.

I didn’t realize the C in OVC stood for Conclave.  But it makes sense.  Pope Rick Byrd has a nice ring to it. #sweatervestments

Isaiah Canaan ‏@SiP03
I don’t care what no one says the Fox & the Hound is a #classic to me!!

I thought the poetic justice inherent in you losing to your co-player of the year after running your mouth during the previous meeting was #classic.  The Fox and the Hound, however, is a terribly disheartening story of betrayal and the triumph of prejudiced societal strictures over the bonds of friendship.*  You, sir, are a monster and I will have no truck with you or your ugly taste in children’s stories.

I just imagined Kanye West jumping on stage at the Oscars and yelling this into the microphone during a Meryl Streep acceptance speech.

No but for real I am excited to see you in the NBA.

*(or maybe that’s just how I remember it and I’m projecting.  Maybe I need to talk to someone?)

Jordan Burgason ‏@itsburgtime
I wonder how they came up with #itsbruintime? OH WAIT!#CopyrightInfringement


Miller Brewing has held a federal trademark on the phrase “It’s Miller Time” since 2001, which is the first use from which your derivative originates.  “Miller Time, Miller Beer” and other variations have been used to market brews since 1972, giving the company a common law trademark.  So yes, perhaps we’re ankle deep in some murky water. But I’m less worried about the legal implications of a hashtag used by a low mid major college athletic department (and even less so about your insinuations) and more concerned that we ripped one of the greatest pre-drink catch phrase of all time at a place where we can’t even drink beer.

We were still Baptist then, so there’s really no way we could have known.


Stay tuned for more exclusive Victory Week content in the days to come…

See YOU at Selection Sunday

  1. Standing ovation gentlemen. Quite possibly your best work. Bravo.

  2. I just hope hoopin hanlen is privy to our constantly favorably comparing him to Tebow. Gets me everytime! Cheers M&H.

  3. #sweatervestments Hahaha. Yes.

  4. Glad I got my (now irrelevant) Pope joke in just under the wire. Maybe I’ll dust it off again the next time a Pope retires during RB’s coaching career.

  5. ZING

  6. Also if there is a Pope of College Basketball it has to be RB. #sweatervestments

  7. rick “the pope” byrd. that should go on our t shirts and coozies.

  8. […] you’re just joining us and are a ‘Belmont fan’, shame on you! Where have you been all year? If you’re an Arizona fan and don’t understand why Mort & Hugs are still […]

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