The Byrd Cage

“About Last Night”- With Mort and Hugs

In Game Posts on February 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Get ready.  A brand new segment from The Byrd Cage bringing you the latest in social media around Belmont basketball, the A- Sun, and the OVC.  We will bringing you all the important tweets, emails, and viral blunders with delightful commentary by Byrd Cage’s own Mort and Hugs.

So, without further ado, “About Last Night”- with Mort and Hugs.


Welcome to our column, meant for everyone like me who skips over the statistical cespool because they don’t have the attention span for it. I’d like to start by naming my top five rules for life as told by my friend and mentor Coach Reilly:

“It’s not worth winning if you can’t win big”
“Win, win, win, win, win, win win….”
“I taught you how to go for the W!”
“You’re not even a has been, you’re a never was”
“You got something to say to me, Bombay?”

I dedicate this first About Last Night to Patrick Brand’s sleeves, which went AWOL the moment he set foot on campus. Never to return again. Also, to the forever quotable Shane Dansby, whose daily “We gotta know this for the test?” in the one statistics class we shared inspired me to say, “Yes” to life, just like the professor who responded “Yes” every time the question was posited. Thanks for pushing me to greatness every day, Shane. On to our social media recap…

About Last Night…
Adam Barnes  [@Dat_Boi_AB]
“I think this lady at subway likes me … I just want my sandwich”Mort:  You can have your sandwich…but you have to eat it off of her belly.
Hugs:  @SandwichLady says: “I think this guy thinks I like him; I wish he’d just take the sandwich”
Ian Clark [@iclark21]
It’s the 15th I got my fooood stamps!!!!
Hugs:  I’m just so tired of these “amateur” athletes getting all these under-the-table perks.
Ian Clark [@iclark21]
Gone beef it up … Mooove tramp!!!
Mort:  I have no idea what these mean.


Chad Lang [@WildBoyZero]
No Drake concert for me. Sold my 4 tickets so I could monetarily astonish
Mort: …this can get really dirty really quick…Quick! Name every possible means of astonishing yourself…
Jordan Burgason [@itsburgtime]

The girl at Starbucks just said she liked my dress style. #ThatsAFirst#SwagPoppi ?

Hugs: Was wearing a dress what got you dismissed from Lipscomb? #IKid #MuchLove

Jordan Burgason [@itsburgtime]

I get little kid giggles when I hear the saxophone. If you guys wanted to know…

Mort: He’s a regular tickle me elmo, folks! And the hash tags…#guidogold
Hugs: How dare you demean the beauty and dignity of the saxophone.  THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT IT.


Holden Mobley [@HoldenMobley]
Who wants to go see The Vow with me this week? I can’t go alone to this one!

Mort:  Can someone PLEASE get this guy a date? This just reaks of desperation and date pandering. And if you do end up alone at the VOW, Holden, then please let us know so that we can properly astonish ourselves by shaming you.

Hugs: No.
Tweet of the Week.
Jordan Burgason [@itsburgtime]

“Dang Nashvillians…this Iowa boy has mad love for all of you. I’m gonna miss you guys so much. Never settle for bunts…always #Homeruns”

The first installment of “Tweet of the Week” comes from @itsburgtime. If the guy would just come out with what he did then I would probably be on his side, because whatever it was was so fun that he was tossed off the team and subsequently the university. Sadly we can only speculate and are left with more questions than answers and some very confusing baseball metaphors. Oh, and a hashtag that isn’t even trending in the Lipscomb athletic department. How else are we supposed to latch on to that one? “that last bong hit was “#homeruns” or “these cheese quesadillas are #homeruns.” #yourhashtagsucks.

A home run is the most highest possible outcome of any at bat in baseball. A bunt is the epitome of selflessness and by never settling for a bunt, it makes it seem like you aren’t a team player. So you  hit the ball over the fence, but missed second base, so you were called out, but then in an show of mercy they umpire told you to run around for a second time and you missed second base AGAIN! He called you out and subsequently ejected you for noncompliance.

Have suggestions?  Hate mail?  Love the content?  Found some of your own?
Email Mort and Hugs at
  1. Losers.

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